Regardless of our age we all have the need to feel liked, loved and valued; to know that we matter. When we experience rejection it crushes us and leaves us feeling small and worthless. Left unattended it festers into a poor self image and attacks our self-confidence and self-esteem, that my friend can make life very difficult.
Have you considered the power behind the words you speak? For example, I have three adult children and I have nicknames for all three of them. My oldest son is Ryan James and since he was about two years old I have called him “Ryan-Bob.” Next is my son Justin Louis who I call “Louie or Little Louie,” although he’s not so little anymore! And then there’s my daughter Randee Gayle who I call “Baby Gayle;” yes, even at the age of 27! Nicknames can be fun and endearing, they can make you feel special and unique and as I’ve seen with my adult children, nicknames can stick.
I’m going to hug the porcupine as I share with you a name that my father used to call me when I was growing up…“Stupid.”
I want to describe my father to you. My father is one of the funniest people I know. He is quick witted and has the best sense of humor. My father has this engaging way about him that draws you in. I like to think that those are a few of the qualities that I inherited from him.
I loved my father dearly. When I was a little girl I waited in the front yard for him to come home, I got so excited when I saw his truck approaching, “dad was home!” I had this need to make my father happy with me; if dad was happy, I was happy.
There was always tension in our home. My parents had their struggles and the frustrations they felt spilled out into our home life. My father was short on patience and exerted his frustrations verbally; it didn’t take much to set him off. During those times of frustration he would seek me out and drill me about the issue at hand, it always included him calling me “stupid.” I never understood why he took his frustrations out on me.
The power behind the word “stupid” was fierce and crippling. The rejection I felt from my father when he called me stupid stopped me dead in my tracks and stripped me of all self esteem. His rejection became the driving force behind my need to find favor with him and make him happy with me. I wanted his favor, his love and his approval. I became a pleaser.
The Scars of Rejection
There are many ways we experience rejection, left unattended our scars can last a lifetime. It amazes me the number of people I minister with whose scars found their roots in rejection; rejection that oftentimes began back when they were mere children. Those scars can cripple us from becoming all that God intended us to be. In my case, I let the power behind the word stupid hold me back. I was in bondage to fear. Fear of not succeeding. Fear of not measuring up. Fear of not fitting in. Fear of failure. Those fears became the crutch I used to make bad choices in my life. I lacked the self esteem to do differently. Those bad choices came with some pretty heavy consequences.
What about you, what has rejection cost you?
Here’s the deal…we cannot escape rejection. It isn’t something that we can always control, but we can control our response to it.
What will your response be? Grow thick skin? Act like you’re tough and don’t care? The truth is…we do care! No one wants to live a life of rejection.
Come Over
I don’t need to understand why my father behaved the way he did for me to love and forgive him. I believe God can heal my heart and restore my self esteem as I hand these painful memories over to Him. I also believe God can heal my father’s heart and restore whatever brokenness caused him to behave the way he did. We are blessed to serve a God who’s in the business of healing and restoration. When we choose to hand over the ashes of our lives to Him there is healing.
In Jesus we are over-comers! I always say, “You can’t be an over-comer if you refuse to come over.” I genuinely believe that.
Who has suffered more rejection than Jesus? His own people rejected Him; they were expecting a conquering king not a suffering servant.
In John chapter 6 of the Holy Bible it says that even after Jesus performs miracles right before their eyes, still many turned away and rejected Him. In versus 35 and 36 it says, Then Jesus declared, “I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe.”
Jesus suffered rejection time and time again. Peter was one of Jesus’ closest friends and a disciple, yet he rejected him three times. Judas Iscariot rejected Jesus with a kiss which led to his arrest! Jesus never let rejection change His course, He overcame and He continually handed it all over to his Father.
Are you getting the picture?
If we are to be like Jesus then we are to overcome like Jesus. Sometimes the hurts are harder to overcome, I know all about that. I also know all about the healing that takes place in our hearts when we hand over those hurts to Jesus. He is the Comforter of our soul; if you hand over your hurts to Him he will remove the sting and replace it with His loving mercy.
He promised that He would never leave you nor forsake you and I’m here to tell you, He never will.
Yo Johnna-
As your younger brother I want you to know it is a total joy to have you in my life, you are my family!
I love you so much,
Your bro,
Greg
Hey Greg,
Thank you! We share a history and there is great comfort in knowing that you are always “there”. You make me laugh (a lot) and I thank the Lord for you often.
I Love you BUNCHES!
XO Johnna
AWESOME!! So very well said and so true and you have an anointed gift of writing and telling the truth in love!! Keep writing- looking forward to the many, many more posts to follow!!!
Thank you Julie,
I REALLY appreciate your constant support! Thank you for the kind words :O) I am truly blessed by your friendship.
Love and (((hugs))),
Johnna
You are a blessing. I’m so proud of you. I have learned so much from you and continue to learn from you. I love you dearly and thank God you are in my life! This is a wonderful website. Love it.
Thank you Kerry-Berry!
I too am thankful for “you”! Soo glad the Lord crossed our paths so many years ago.
You are also a blessing my friend :O)
XO Johnna
I am so glad to see your webpage!!! It allows you to share the hope that lies in our Lord with so many people that can relate to what you teach.
For 28 years I have seen you minister to people whose pain, fear or loss of hope left them so wounded that they could not see where to go next. I have seen so many healed and so many looking at life with new joy and starting to live again.
This site will allow God to use your gifts in new ways to share HIs love and His healing and His will for us.
Thank you for your obedience to His call and for sharing your amazing gifts with us and our families!!
We love you!
Thank you Colleen for the kind words, support and for praying me through all these years!
I am soo excited to glorify the Lord through this site and I am prayerful that His healing love, grace and mercy touchs everyone who visits here.
Love you bunches!
Joena! (Johnna)
Forgot to mention how perfect “Beauty from Ashes” is for the name of your website!!!
Fit you to a tea!!
THANK YOU!! As you know, it’s been the anthem throughout my journey.
(((hugs)))
This makes me SO happy! I adore you and your many gifts. Thank you for being a constant source of truth in my life. Oh boy am I excited for the rest of the world to hear all you have to say and offer. It’s about time! 🙂 I LOVE YOU!
Thank you Wendy,
I adore you as well my friend! I have such sweet memories of the young lady that used to sit in my office soo hungry for Jesus! God is great, He never fails and His love is never-ending!
All glory to God in Christ Jesus my friend :O)
(((BIG hugs)))
Johnna
I loved reading your blog. You are so inspirational through your written words, texts and phone prayers. Keep it up!! You mean so much to me and your blog will be an inspiration to many!! Thanks for sharing. I love the title and your picture is BEAUTIFUL!!!
JJ
Thank you Janice!
I really appreciate your kind words, your encouragement and most of all your friendship. You are like family and I love you dearly JJ!!
((((hugs))))
Johnna
Thanks for sharing your new Blog. I love the title; Beauty from Ashes! Your writing is touching and we do all have our demons in one way or another. You have touched me in so many ways, helping me through ‘things’ with Gods words of encouragement in person, through texts, prayers over the phone and now such a blessing to share through your BLOG!! You will touch many lives in God’s name!
Hey JJ,
I received your comments and posted the two above. Thank you again and know that I love you bunches!
Johnna
Good Morning Johnna,
Finally had an opportunity to read your blog, one word, Awesome!
You have suffered greatly from rejection but you, like Jesus, have overcome so much pain and have offered many blessings to others. Through your continued growth, acceptance and forgiveness you have helped me and many others in understanding and accepting the rejection that we have experienced.
Thank you for sharing, love you,
Theresa
Thank you Theresa,
I really appreciate your words and affirmations! It is a blessing and a privilege to walk with people from bondage to freedom. God is soo good at healing those past hurts when we hand them over to Him. You know what I always say…”Ya gotta love the person more than you hate what they did.”
Love you bunches (((hugs))),
Johnna